TSA Has You Under Its Thumb, and Forefinger

I’d like “Private Screeners” for $1,000 please, Alex.

Oh, no such category.  Too bad. The TSA has blocked a program that allowed airports to privatize their screeners, citing “safety concerns.”  So we are stuck with the mouth breathers, and all the inefficiencies that the federal government is known for.   Long lines?  Don’t worry.  You’ll get there….eventually.   Ease of travel – well, that isn’t the point.  Just ask this Montana airport, which couldn’t get TSA to provide enough agents at peak times.  Turns out the TSA has its own evolved way of attacking staffing issues.   A “sophisticated model”.

TSA’s Sophisticated Model?:  Zoltar answers staffing dilemmas.

So, now we know that the TSA wants all your business…  They want it all, and all of you.   The threat of  private companies doing a better job at far less cost would set a bad precedent, and save taxpayers money, and dignity, therefore it was much too risky.

As a result, fliers will have the privilege of paying more in higher union wages and some unwanted hand jobs.  Not to mention an increase in the general misery factor, which often ranks high enough at airports these days, even without federal employees stealing tweezers out of suitcases.

I ask you:  What’s the incentive for a TSA agent to be nice to travelers?  Most are probably ticked that you just went to Cancun, and all they got when you returned was a peek through your underwear bag if they’re lucky, and a peek at you through your underwear if you’re not.    They’re not so nice at the DMV either, but those are state government employees.  Must be a transportation thing.

Regarding the “sophisticated models” that the TSA supposedly uses to decide how many agents it takes to feel up granny in her fanny-pack, this model might work, too:  Consider number of flights, gate utilization, traffic schedule and passenger load. If it is “high” then staffing probably should be “high”.   Damn, I bet they pay a lot more to Zoltar.


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4 Comments on “TSA Has You Under Its Thumb, and Forefinger”

  1. John Boddie Says:

    Why do you think that private screeners would be more efficient than the people who are doing the job now? They’d be paid less, but would the total bill be reduced – after all, the company who employs them needs to make a profit, and government contractors don’t have a sterling record of holding costs down?



  2. John Boddie Says:

    I stand corrected. I downloaded the staff report and it looks legitimate.



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